I played the other day with a very experienced player who held the 2(same) of the 1 tile that I needed to go win - she stated based upon where she knew I was playing, she was declaring my hand dead and that I would need to sit out the rest of the game and then pay whoever wins. Upon reading the info here, am I wrong, but, shouldn't I have been able to continue to play in the event that I would have thrown a tile someone else might me wanting. If she had thrown the tile I needed, she would have paid $1.60 to me. If my hand is dead because she didn't want to throw the needed tile, then wouldn't her hand be dead and she unable to play too? Very confused on this rule.
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I'll be assuming you're playing Riichi, that's the only ruleset I know which has "dead hands".
If I understand your question correctly, I don't see why she would declare your hand dead at all in this situation. I take it you declared Riichi in that game. If she called you dead because you could not win, since she kept your winning tiles, that is not a valid action for several reasons:
Maybe there was a misunderstanding and she meant to say "you can't win anymore"?