This question is inspired by Frank Karsten's (pretty ridiculous) article What If Every Enchantment in Magic Entered the Battlefield at the Same Time? His conclusion at the end of the article, where he went even further and considered all creatures, artifacts, and enchantments entering the battlefield at the same time, was:
If Magic Online’s implementation is correct and I’m not forgetting anything, then Enchanted Evening would turn everything permanent (including any cards that might save me) into enchantments, which become creatures with no abilities due to Opalescence/Humility. So the main conclusion from the enchantment section extends to all permanents:
You'd die to Lich, and nothing could save you.
Lich sets your life total to zero when it enters the battlefield, and since none of the other permanents have abilities, you're toast.
Or are you? The comments to that article (and this question) suggest a few ways to get past this:
- Curse of Death's Hold kills everything, including Lich (because they're all 1/1 creatures) before you die. So you live.
- Phyrexian Unlife, Transcendence or Lich's Mastery keep you alive.
- Play Gideon of the Trials and get an emblem. This emblem says "As long as you control a Gideon planeswalker, you can't lose the game and your opponents can't win the game." This hinges on whether Gideon, with all the other permanents in play, still qualifies as a Gideon planeswalker.
- Play Kiora, Master of the Depths and get an emblem. Kiora's -8 ability says "You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may have it fight target creature." Then create three 8/8 blue Octopus creature tokens." The plan now is to get the Octopus tokens to fight Humility and Opalescence (which are now creatures), kill them, and restore the abilities to all the other permanents that might keep you alive.
- Get Imprisoned in the Moon to enchant Lich, removing all its abilities and keeping it from killing you.
- Illusions of Grandeur gains you 20 life after it enters the battlefield, putting your life total above 0 again.
At this point the rules questions are well past my head, so I'm asking this here: of all these methods to survive Lich, which (if any) work?
If the exact order of things matter, we assume that I have 4 Plains in play and one each of every enchantment ever printed in the graveyard, then cast Replenish. In the case of Gideon/Kiora, we assume they are already in play and have created an emblem.