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Nosajimiki's user avatar
Nosajimiki's user avatar
Nosajimiki's user avatar
  • Member for 2 years, 8 months
  • Last seen more than 2 years ago
  • Louisiana, United States

In the beginning God made man and woman, and said that this is good. In fact, he liked people so much that he gave them the ability to reproduce.

But Eve soon found an exploit so that she could have all the pleasure of reproduction without having all the work of raising kids. Upon seeing this, God exclaimed, “OH NO! This is not good”; so, God removed all carrots, cucumbers, and all other similar vegetables. Then Adam found an even easier exploit; so, God removed thumbs. Then Adam and Eve discussed how God had patched away the exploits, and working together found many new ways to exploit the system. So, God removed mouths and umm... many other body parts, but no matter how hard God tried Adam and Eve would always find new ways to exploit the system.

Getting tired of writing patches, God decided to redesign the whole reproductive system so that it would no longer be pleasurable. Surely enough, Adam and Eve stopped exploiting… but they also did not reproduce either. After a while, Adam and Eve decided that life was no longer fun so they both threw themselves from a cliff, and the world became a very quiet and lonely place for God to visit.

After a while, God decided to pull a backup of his original design and said, “this was not good… but it was a good start”. So, he let Adam and Eve continue to use their exploits, but patched the reproductive system to feel better when used as intended so that the human race would still have a reason to go forth and multiply. Adam and Eve loved how this new system worked so they told God, “Thank you, now THIS is good.”

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